Is this me? Really? Is it the me that you think I am? Is it the me you see?

Thanks to my Plurk friends, I was introduced to a new avatar creator, Face Your Manga. I went through, step by step, picking my face shape, my hair, eye color - everything down to my clothes and jewelry. When I was done, I looked beyond to components to see the whole. Was that really me?

I started to think about my blog. A RW friend (who is also a frequent reader) recently remarked, “Wow! You really put it out there. You don’t pull any punches, don’t you?”

I’ve been thinking about that for awhile. If you think I’m colorful in the real world, I’m pretty much neon online. Is the blogosphere my liquid courage? What would my online community think if they saw how mundane my life is? They’d never tune in to read the juicy and funny highlights.

Is this wrong? Should I be the same regardless of where I am and the context? I don’t think so.

All of this reminds me when Boo was about two, it really bothered me that she would be a princess for other people and a holy terror for me. Her pediatrician explained that she could let go and show her stress with me because she could trust and find comfort in me that she couldn’t feel with strangers. She performed for them because she needed to. This was normal. In fact, if she didn’t adapt her behavior to the situation, she’d be a sociopath.

So, that’s my excuse. I’m not a sociopath. Apparently a little self-imposed schizophrenia is a good and healthy thing. I can be a different woman for Homer than I am to my kids. Some friends know me through the lens of my work and others have known me in the context of my family. My mom will always see me as a twelve year old needing to be reminded to do my homework (or laundry for that matter). My dad will always see me as a six year old asking for an increase in my allowance.

What’s my point? You will see me how you want to see me - in some cases, how I want you to see me. Or so I think. The reality is that you’ll see me how you want to see me and there’s not a darn thing I can do about it.

So what’s a girl to do about it? I’m going to keep being me. I am going to keep being honest and real, while keeping in mind that I want my kids to get jobs and move out someday, so I can’t humiliate them THAT much.

]]> http://fearandparenting.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/the-many-sides-of-me/feed/ FandPinLV http://fearandparenting.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/happy-birthday-to-me/ http://fearandparenting.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/happy-birthday-to-me/#comments Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:24:00 +0000 fearandparentinginlasvegas http://fearandparenting.wordpress.com/?p=389

My birthday’s not for months but a recent post by Evil Julie piqued my interest. Homer thinks astrology is a bunch of hooey, but I see some of the personality characteristics as being fairly accurate. Here’s mine. Do you think it’s right?

Your personal ruling planets are Mars and Sun.

The powerful 10th Solar House rulership indicates high preferment and possible fame - if you desire it. The power and warmth of the Sun endows you with a natural feeling of leadership and self importance. People will look to you for guidance, and with the added lunar and Saturnian vibrations, you maintain a calm mental outlook, even when the situation seems hopeless. This really instils confidence in those who look up to you.

Though your successes are assured after a long fight, you will experience hardships as a result of opposition and enemies - who are probably envious of your sterling qualities.

Your lucky colours are copper and gold.

Your lucky gem is Ruby.

Your lucky days of the week are Sunday, Monday and Thursday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 1, 10, 19, 28, 37,46,55,64,73 and 82.

Famous people born on your birthday include Erasmus, Elsa Lanchester, Evelyn Waugh, Jonas Edward Salk, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Joaquin Phoenix, Des’Ray Manders and Lauren Holly.

Hmmm. Joaquin Phoenix? I’d like to share some birthday cake with him (and more).

What does your birthday say about you?

Dear well-meaning, but-bull-headed-and-Delusional-friend- that-can’t-help-herself-from-sending-me-a-constant-barrage-of right-wing-e-mails:

We discussed this before and I apparently need to reiterate it. I appreciate the fact that we have differing viewpoints on many political and social issues. I respect your right to your opinions. I’ll defend your right to express them. I, however, do not appreciate the recent barrage of anti-Obama messages that I am getting from you. You’re not changing my mind. If anything, you’re reminding me why we need someone like him to unite our country and give it focus.

So, be warned. For every incendiary political message I receive from you, I will be donating $20 to the Obama campaign. Please take me off of your list for these messages, or you’ll be helping the “dark side.”

All the best -

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

This has been quite a week. I got a freelance writing gig for Savvy Source and iVegasDad gave me his props:

I’ve got 13 posts to write this weekend for Savvy Source, so I’ll be a busy beaver. If you have ideas or recommendations for stuff to do with preschool-aged kids in Vegas (ages 2-6) drop me a line.

While I’m writing, please check out my awardees. My day is not complete without perusing the goings-on at:
Jen on the Edge
Zip ‘n’ Tizzy
Notes from the Trenches
Saintseester Says
Mommy is Moody
and because I needed a little testosterone on my list:
Backpacking Dad

The back-to-school fun continues. (Here’s part I and part II.) While Boo started classes this week, most schools will open their doors next week. So I’m not too late, am I?

6. Why buy new?
I’m a huge fan of consignment shops. I’ve used them since I was pregnant with Boo for everything from clothes to toys to maternity wear and potty seats. I rarely buy holiday dresses retail. Why should I when I can buy one another little girl wore once or twice for pictures and holiday religious services or dinner at grandma’s? They’re great for Halloween costumes and dancewear too. I’ve bought and sold, used credits and taken the cash (you’ll get a better deal with the credits and most stores will keep them on file for you).

My advice? Find the consignment store closest to the nicest neighborhoods in your town. Many suburban divas don’t bat an eyelash at dropping $40 on toddler corduroy pants because of the Tommy Hilfiger flag on the hem. I can pick them up for $3.99 (or less at the end-of-season sale where I pack them away for the next year).

If you’re in Vegas, I recommend two shops in parcicular: Kid to Kid and Children’s Orchard. Both are franchises of national chains, so you can probably find one in your area.

I’ve been going to Kid to Kid for years. It’s well stocked and I can usually find lots of stuff that we don’t really need, but I can fully justify because the prices are so reasonable. Fumiko (the owner/manager of the Vegas shop) keeps the inventory rotating, so you can find new stuff every week. They even have a kid pen where you can plop down little Susie to play so you don’t have to play the “Drop that now!”-”Don’t put that in your mouth”-”No, we’re not buying that today” game while you shop.

They have a nice customer loyalty program (get a stamp on your card for every visit when you spend $10 or more).

If you’re looking to sell, make sure you call and make an appointment first. Bring stuff in clean and well-organized and you’ll get through quicker. Of course, I wish their buy-back prices were higher, and that they had more buy-back hours on weekends for moms like me who can’t come in on weekdays. We made a stop there the other day and got some good buys including:

For Doodle:

• Carter’s Jammies - $3.99
• Children’s Place Sweater (the bargain of the day) - $1.00
• Elmo Jammies - $2.99

For Boo:

• Ballet Skirt (new) - $8.99
• Pink Corduroy Jumper and Turtleneck with Embroidered Detail - $7.50 (this was a huge steal!)
• Disney Sleeping Beauty Track Suit - $7.99 (there’s no escaping the Princess Industrial Complex!)

Children’s Orchard *has been in Vegas for awhile, but they recently opened a new store in the Summerlin ‘hood.* I was really impressed with the layout of the store and the incredible stock they had available. If you’re looking for used school uniforms, head here first. They have every private school in the north and west sections of the city covered. I met the owner and her sister/manager who were friendly, courteous and very helpful.

I liked their kids play area better (and so did Boo). I also liked that they kept their sorting/processing area out of view, making the store’s aesthetic less cluttered and claustrophobic. They also had a good customer punch-card program

My one beef was that, while they had the sizes well sorted, boys and girls’ apparel were often on the same rack. No big deal when you’re looking for dresses, but when you’re squeezing through racks of jeans, it can be a pain in the neck to push/pull/shove your way through to find something that doesn’t have Dora embroidered on the hem.

Here are our finds from the trip:

For Doodle:

• Fisher-Price Royal Sounds Potty - $12.99
• Children’s Place Sweater - $5.99
• Reverseable Jacket - $4.99

For Boo:

• Tommy Hilfiger Summer Dress - $9.99

*Note: The Childrens’ Orchard national PR people contacted me and asked me to check it out. I was already planning this post, so I was happy to oblige, but didn’t tell them when I’d be stopping by nor did I identify myself until after I completed my purchase, as I felt obliged to explain why I was taking pictures).

Kid to Kid was certainly busier the day I visted, but I think that’s largely because she’s been there for so long and has a high repeat-customer base. Children’s Orchard will do well if they can get enough traffic into their location, which is set back from the street and sandwiched between Grape Street Cafe and an Allstate Insurance Claims Office (not exactly businesses that drive the demographic to their doors during open hours).

If you’re looking for a non-franchise shop, check out Kid Around. We stopped by during their posted business hours, but the doors were locked and they had their “Sorry we’re closed” sign up. I hope they were just closed temporarily, but I suspect the economy and their location (next to a large Goodwill thrift store) has gotten the best of them. I’ll check another day and let you know.

So, before you hit the mall, head to a consignment shop near you, it’s better for the environment and better for your pocketbook.

Screw Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner. My kid’s tired of being pandered to with music about playing fair and washing your hands. Actually, she’s got a dad that hates kids music and doesn’t give her an option when in the car. It’s NPR or Dad’s tunes. Take it or leave it.

To her credit, she’s always been a rockstar at heart. Here are 13 songs that you can get Boo to sing at the drop of a hat. Keep in mind, I didn’t say that she could sing them well.

1. Alicia Keys - No One
She picked this one up from the Day Mommies. Ms. Keys, I am sorry, but my daughter butchers your song so badly that every time it comes on the radio I smack my dashboard so quickly it makes my odometer jump a little.

2. Fall Out Boy - Thanks for the Memories
She will fight to the death that the title of this song is “Thanks for the Levity.” She’s smart, but I seriously doubt she understands what levity is.

3. Linkin Park - What I’ve Done
I don’t know where Boo’s obsession with Linkin Park came from, but shortly after she started bellowing this from the backseat, Homer and I decided it was okay to encourage it by downloading the band’s entire catalog (radio edits, of course).

4. Aqua - Barbie Girl
I hold the ballet goddess completely responsible for this one. Little did I know that behind the sound-proof glass at dance class last year, she was infecting Boo with this. Trust me, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

5. Finger Eleven - Paralyzer
Boo goes into epileptic spasm-like dance moves every time this come on and she hasn’t even seen the video. Homer finds it hilarious that he has to play this track on road trips with his intern as often as he has to play it for his four-year-old-daughter.

6. Linkin Park -Shadow of the Day
See #3. It was a serious toss up whether we were going to blow a month’s entertainment budget to tickets to Disney Princesses on Ice or the Linkin Park show. Fortunately other expenses came up, so we didn’t have to flip for it.

7. Reel 2 Reel - I Like to Move It
I have to lighten this up a little. Technically I classify this as movie music, not kids music. You could hear this in a club. “Shake my sillies out” on the turntable? Uh, no. This, yes.

8. Averil LaVigne - Girlfriend
I’ll be honest, I had no idea where this came from. She’s always chanting “Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your girlfriend!”, but she never gets any further. I don’t listen to pop radio much. This came on when I was in a mall and the lightbulb came on.

9. Beastie Boys - Brass Monkey
This one is totally Homer’s fault. One night, I was thrilled that he was playing dance party with the kids in the living room. Homer’s not much of a dancer, but he’s never too proud to make an ass out of himself to make the kids crack up. I wasn’t thrilled when this track came on. It was too late. Damage done. She thinks that brass monkey is some sort of shiny gold gorilla. We’ll let her live in that world as long as possible, after all her mom is a sorority girl.

10. Cake- Mahna Mahna
Yes, I know this track is off an album called “For the Kids,” but it’s Cake, people. Cake rocks. Jim Henson would be proud. Cake never produced a video for the song, but I’d like to think they’d come up with something as cool as this.

11. Carolina Liar - I’m Not Over
Boo picked this up from me. I love this song and play constantly. I get chills every time she picks up the hook and out-sings me every time.

12. The Killers - All These Things That I’ve Done
The Nike commercials on the Olymptics (no that’s not a typo, that’s what we call it around here) brought this song to Boo’s attention. I’m triple-pleased since a) The Killers are local guys; b) their drummer, Ronnie Vannucci, went to my alma mater (he still needs to come back and graduate - ahem!); and c) they really do rock. I especially love this video, because not only was it shot in Vegas, I think I went to a wedding reception in the trailer park they use here (that’s a post for another day).

13. Rage Against the Machine - Renegades of Funk
“You let your kid listen to Rage?” Umm (bashfully), “Yes, but only the radio edits.” Truth be told, Boo would bounce in my belly when Rage was on the car radio. I’ve stopped by radio station’s live remotes because I needed to request “Rollin’ Down Rodeo” because I needed her to fall asleep on the drive home. My only worry is that my daughter’s mysterious Brooklyn accent will drop the “n” from “funk” and I’m going to have a lot of esplainin’ to do at Ye Olde Catholic School.

So, what are your kids’ favorite non-kids tunes? Any recommendations to add to Boo’s list?

The fun at FandPinLV continues. It’s Boo’s last week at preschool/daycare and things are starting to deteriorate a bit. Boo is caught up somewhere between little girl and young lady. Her politeness is going up, but she can still be a demanding little beast. For example,

“Boo, do you want some ketchup for your hot dog?”

“Yes please”

“Do you want it on the bun or on the side?”

“On the side, please. NO! Not there. Not THERE. NOT THERE!! HERE!!!!”

“Boo, it’s ketchup, not high level nuclear waste.”

She gets downright bossy when she gets too comfortable. So, needless to say, I’m kind of looking forward to a new school rocking her world a little bit.

So speaking of back-to-school, here’s the next installment of my reviews. Read. Enjoy. Comment. Please. Thank you.

===============================================

4. Doctor Doctor

If you haven’t already hit up your pediatrician for your pre-school physical and immunizations, you may be too late to get it in before registration. If you’re in the market for a local pediatrician, check out Muriel DeSimone at Fremont Children’s Clinic. We’ve been seeing her since our pre-birth consult for Boo and it was love at first sight. She’s moved practices a few times, but she can’t shake us. She started out as a nurse before making the move to medical school, so she understands the full spectrum of care and has a great staff to help her out. She’s always been thorough, accessible (Boo had some scary jaundice issues when she came out and we spent lots of late nights on the phone), and up to speed on the latest child health issues.

While we love Muriel, we love that she’s in a multi-doctor practice. If we can’t get to her, we can catch someone in the daily walk-in hours from 7-8 a.m. Even better, they have appointment and walk-in hours on weekend - yes Saturday AND Sunday. Think you get that in Des Moines? I doubt it.

Our weekend on-call is Vegas’ answer to Doogie Howser. I swear Dr. Santos can’t be more than 20, although I know he has to be nearly 30 (at least). Despite his youth, he has a great bedside manner (he didn’t make me feel like an idiot when I accidentally gave Boo nursemaid’s elbow) and knows his stuff. His follow up on Boo’s last infection was great.

If you need a ped, DeSimone and Santos should be on your list.

5. Smile!

We’re trying to get Boo into as many appointments as possible so we can minimize the disruptions in her school schedule. We hit the dentist this morning. Although Vegas is dotted with kids specialty practices, I’ve been taking Boo to my dentist, Dr. Steven Hall, since she was old enough for a toothbrush. She loves him and his hygenist, Lahuna. We’re yet to get a set of x-rays (note: the gag reflex on a 4-year old is like a Persian cat with a hairball), but she gets her teeth cleaned, polished and flourided in a half hour. Boo is thrilled with her bag “o’ made in China” swag and purple toothbrush. He’s keeping us apprised of what to expect when permanents come in (so we don’t panic) and how to start planning for her orthodontics (oh well, there goes my dreams of a new car).

That’s enough for today. Tune in tomorrow for the final installment (and just in time, too. Boo starts Pre-K in less than eight hours!)

It’s Boo’s last hurrah before Pre-K, so I took the day off for a fun. It’s a Monday in Vegas. What’s a mom to do? Too hot for the park. Back to school shopping is done and the mall’s a madhouse anyway this time of year. We need to get out of the house. Let’s go swimming…with the fishes, or so to speak.

Boo had a recent field trip with the day mommies over to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay and they sent home a coupon for a free kid’s admission for the price of an adult ticket. I hadn’t been there for at least three years, so why not?

I think this guy could come in handy for my next woodworking project.

We had a blast. For $16.95 ($13.95 if you’re a local), you get an hour and a half of educational entertainment. Kids four and under are free, so I ended up giving my coupon to a tourist with a large brood. She needed all the help she could get.

Boo was so excited to show me around and was so proud that she could work the audio tour wand all by herself. She hunted down the numbers on the placard and plugged them in perfectly. She worked it better than me. (I kept setting off some sort of alarm because my camera flash was too close to the audio wand.) After nearly 40 audio segments and about 20 exhibits, her brain was full and I needed lunch.

So, for the price of a movie, we got a great morning of entertainment, education, and exercise. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

Just a little push. Oh so tempting.