I’m everywhere but here today

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Hello, SWA? I'll take my flight with wireless please.

The last week’s been nothing short of crazy and I’m about to hit a big month of travel — 15 days on the road in September.

Check out my mouth watering reviews of two of my new favorite snack foods: PopChips and Fling chocolate candy.

Speaking of eating, there’s also a book review of Eat, Pray, Love.

You can also see who won the big Blackberry Tour/BlackBerry Diaries giveaway.

Also, you can get the skinny on the Danish block bonanza that is Legoland with a dash of Vegas flair.

I’ll be back soon with a recap on my visit with Kathy Buckworth at the Blackberry Diaries event. I gotta go pack and print a boarding pass.

Because I care…

And because I can’t keep my pie-hole shut

or my fingers quiet.

And because I apparently don’t have enough on my plate.

I’ve gone and done it.

It’s real this time.

It’s good.

It’s bad.

It’s ugly.

[The "ugly" refers to the content, not to the design (thanks to ZoeyJane).]

It’s my review blog.

Go and see for yourself.

And to kick things off, I’m going on tour…Blackberry Tour, that is. And you can win one, too (and that’s a $500 prize folks), with your first month’s service from Verizon for free. You can also win a copy of Kathy Buckworth’s newest book, The Blackberry Diaries.

Go check out what I have to say and how you can win it.

A Gift for Dear Old Dad

June’s a tough month for me.

No, it’s not the Vegas heat. For as long as I’ve lived here, I’m used to the glorious feeling of knee sweat by now.

No, it’s not the constant battle against chlorine-green hair on my little blondie. I can hose her down no problem.

It’s that June is the month where I have to track down two gifts for my dad.

Father’s Day is this weekend and his birthday is later this month.

He, I kid you not, is the hardest person to buy for.

So, rather than ruin the surprise and tell you what I’m getting him (not that I’m worried — Dad doesn’t know what a blog is, so odds are that he’s not reading this one), I’ll give you a brief rundown on the things Dad’s NOT getting this year.

Brookstone’s Frog-O-Sphere
My daddy’s a good ol’ southern boy through and through. To him, frogs are a meal, not a pet. I’m not putting my kids through the trauma of watching grandpa dip Kermit in a nice remoulade.

Nose Hair Trimmer
Speaking of gross. I have a rule. Personal care devices are not gifts. I don’t care how close we are. I don’t care how much you may need it. Some stuff should never touch giftwrap.

Self Help Books
I have another rule. Self help books are just that SELF-Help. It’s like buying your loved one a gift certificate for a therapist.

A Ride Along in a Stock Car Race
Why pay $120 to put my dad in a car and scare the crap out of him? I can do that for free driving around Vegas. Hop in, Daddy-O. Time for a Costco Run!

Bucket O’ Junk Food
Dad’s had plenty of this crap already. He’s a diabetic with inoperable heart disease. Who needs Dr. Kevorkian? A whole new meaning of death by chocolate.

A Piece of the Red Planet
Don’t get me wrong, my dad loves his real estate, but Mars? Unless you can put a condo there it may as well be and Arkansas swamp. (Oh wait, that worked for some people).

Marshmallow Tree
Personally, I think this thing rocks. However we don’t leave Dad around an open flame. There’s just not enough liability insurance out there to make this one worth it.

Bobble Babes Can Cozy
Now, THIS one one has some promise. Dad finally gets some action AND his diet coke at the same time? I’m such a thoughtful daughter. Hmmmm. It could be the gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve got to finish shopping soon, so leave your gift suggestions in the comments. Help please, or dad gets the boobie chick.

Going Solo

Last night’s Ben Fold’s show at House of Blues was an amazing display of incredible songwriting and inspiring musicianship (who thinks to put Altoid boxes in between piano strings?). It was my third Ben show and, like me (or at least I’d like to think so), the high school band/choir geek is getting better with age.

image courtesy of Rolling Stone

After the show, we discussed our surprise that he played so much from his Ben Folds Five catalog and our dismay that some of my favorites were left off including “Philosophy,” “The Luckiest,” and “Fired” as well as one of my all-time favorite breakup songs, “Song for the Dumped”.

The conversation reminded me that I had been approached again by the lovely folks at EdenFantasys about doing another giveaway of their adult toys for them. I had been struggling with how to do a tactful tie in. Product reviews for sex toys were out of the question considering that I have family members and colleagues reading this blog and, while I undoubtedly over-share aspects of my life to painful detail, personal reviews of their amorous, if not experimental, product line are just too personal, even for me.

So, given my impending change of marital status and the serendipitous reminder from Ben Folds that while breaking up is hard to do, it is nonetheless a great songwriting opportunity, it’s time for another song contest.

In the comments, give me your favorite break up song (artist and title, please). Enter as many times as you want between now and midnight (pacific time) on Tues., May 27, 2009. A breakup playlist will be published on the 28th with the winner of the $45 credit at EdenFantasys.com for some shopping to help with the solo act or your new romance, whatever works for you. Really, I don’t need to know.

P.S. Oh, and don’t forget to vote for me at the GoCityKids.com Best Local Blog for Las Vegas. I’ve been overtaken by a worthy competitor, but there’s still a lot of time to go (50 days plus). Vote early and often. There’s slime on the line.

More Letters: A Triumverate of Fast Food Failures

Now that the attention of public health officials has been diverted to not-so-pandemic swine flu, apparently the fast food nation has fallen asleep at the wheel. I thought it was time for another round of correspondence in hopes that my few paltry words of disappointment make shake the industry into a healthier approach to their products and customer service. After all, fast food traditionally does well in economic downturns, drawing business away from mid-level chains and fine dining. After these experiences, I’ll be saving my pennies for a better day with a better meal.

Dear Subway:

Thanks so much for calling me to make sure I was okay. I have enjoyed many of your meatball subs over the years, but the one I consumed last week was my last. The fact that it took your people a WEEK to call and give a “we’re-sorry-you-puked-so-much-that-got-a-better-ab workout-than-a-week-at-the gym-but-we-don’t-think-that-it-was-our-fault” backhanded apology was pretty crappy. The fact that you didn’t even offer to refund my money sucked even more. Needless to say, I won’t be back.

Love,
Little Miss Insides Out

Dear Applebees:

Were you nipping off the tequila when you made my friend’s tequila lime chicken? Or was the carside-to-go too much stress for you all? Serving a mom of three rubbery and undercooked chicken is like taking down General Patton before the Invasion of Normandy. She’s got a job to do. Fill ‘er up people, let’s not try to kill her.

Love,
Passing up Apples for Oranges from now on

Dear Baja Fresh:
You probably detected the immense excitement in my voice last week when you called my office with the news that my donation of a business card in your fishbowl yielded me free lunch for me and my co-workers. You were supposed to e-mail me the form for my order. This morning, no form. I called, you said you would send it again. Still no form. Lunch is supposed to be tomorrow and I now have a gaggle of once-elated and now deflated colleagues who just want the burrito that I promised them. Thanks for yanking our chains.

Love,
Salsa free ’till 2023