Blessed memories from Big Poppa

Some of us know Sorenj better as the one and only Big Poppa in Purkville. When I asked for guest posters and he volunteered, I wasn’t sure which direction he’d go. After all, this is the guy who brought us the Brad vs. Brad matchup (and now we’re on to Will vs. Will – get your vote in if you dare!). I was amazed and touched at his post below about how a loss reminds all of us of the blessings of a life well lived.
_________________________________________________________________________________

It could be suggested that guest blogging about blessings might be a bit ironic, to say the least, given the recent (last Wednesday) loss of my namesake, role model and grandfather. Indeed, I, along with many others, am feeling a great loss right now.

However, the reality is that what I had the privilege of witnessing last week was the culmination of a lifetime of effort. What Farfar did on Wednesday was cross the finish line. There are goals each of us set for ourselves, as soon as we are old and mature enough to recognize them as worthy. Things like building a loving, understanding, and compassionate family, building a lasting legacy, and setting an example to your children and their children of how a good life should be led. To all that knew him Soren Bech Jacobsen embodied those accomplishments.

Over the years he instilled, in me, a work ethic and a pride in family that I can only hope to be able to pass on to my own children. The loss of Farfar caused me to reflect on other losses in my life. My grandmother passed when I was 22 and my mother a year later when I was 23 years old, she was only 44.

My grandmother taught me by example that anyone (man or woman) can accomplish anything they set their mind to. Widowed with 6 school age children and forced into the workplace for the first time in her life, she not only made it, but excelled professionally. At the same time, she was providing a loving, nurturing, and highly successful home for her six children. Five of the six went on to college degrees, the sixth dropped out to create a shoe company he later sold for several million dollars. One studied at Oxford, one was in the Peace Corps, suffice it to say, all were successful in carving their own way in the world.

My mother expanded upon that lesson, teaching me not to limit what your goals are based on expectation or convention. When my sister and I decided we wanted to move in with my father (while I was in 7th grade), instead of feeling down and deserted, she decided to travel the world. And travel the globe she did, for 10 years (culminating with her untimely passing on Koh Samui Thailand) stopping her travels only long enough to teach English wherever she was in order to fund the next leg(s) of her travel. Summers, my sister and I would visit her wherever she was at the time, affording us a unique view of the world enjoyed by very few children.

Both of these strong independent women taught me valuable lessons and helped create the person I am today. As with my grandfather, I had the option of mourning their passing, however in doing so I believe I would have done them a disservice. When a great sprinter crosses that line and wins the race, perhaps even breaking a world record, we do not mourn the end of the race, we revel in the accomplishment and acknowledge the dedication, determination and character that led to that ultimate achievement.

I talked to my two boys about Farfar’s passing. I was, of course, worried about how they would react (this was the first death of anyone close to them that either of them had experienced).

“S”, my 8 year old responded “I feel bad for [dad], because [he] liked to play cards with Farfar and will miss him, but, I’m happy Farfar was able to live a good life, serve his purpose and has now gone on to a better place.” After asking how Farmor (Farfar’s surviving wife) and my father were taking it, “P” my 13 year old said “well… I guess he is yelling “HEY!!!” to sushi chefs in heaven. And if I know Farfar, he’s up there building us a great big house to live in right now.”

I’m not sure I have ever been more proud of who my children are growing up to be than while talking to them, separately, about Farfar’s passing. They dealt with a difficult situation with grace, humor and positivity and were able to focus on what they had gained rather than what they had lost.

Yes, I feel very blessed. Both by those who proceeded me, and by the sense of confidence and pride I have in those who will create the next generation of Jacobsen’s.