Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Steps Back to Sanity
If you’ve been following me on Plurk, you probably know a little bit about the sheer hell I’ve been through the last seven days. While I’m not really a liberty to discuss any real details, know that I’m just trying to get through a day without welling up and ruining my mascara.
Now I’m trying to get by head back on straight, but like recovering from any emotional trauma, it takes time to heal. Screw the twelve-step program. I need an extra one. After all, it’s Thursday. So, here we go.
1. Shock. Oh my God. I can’t believe these words are coming out of your mouth.
2. Disbelief. You’ve got to be kidding me. This isn’t real. Where are the hidden cameras?
3. Panic. Oh dear God. How am I going to face these people? Can I hold it together?
4. Sorrow. How am I losing everything I’ve worked for in the last four years? These people nominated me for “employee of the year” last month and I got a promotion last week and now you’re telling me it doesn’t matter?
5. Depression. Obviously I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. Maybe I am just a fabulous BS artist and the jig is up. Maybe they didn’t understand what they were doing.
6. Anger. Not only did they understand, the rat bastards apparently didn’t care.
7. Conspiracy. I now see how all of this was a part of someone else’s bigger plan for world domination.
8. Disillusionment. I really thought I could make a difference. I was moving the needle. I was wrong.
9. Vengance. I’m going to find whoever is behind this and give them some instant karma.
10. Planning. Screw ‘em. the best revenge is a life lived well. I’ll find someone else who will under-appreciate me, but at least will pay me a living wage.
11. Sympathy. Those idiots, they have no idea how much they’re going to miss me when I’m gone.
12. Peace. Staying upset is a waste of my energy and is taking me away from the things that really matter - like my family. I’ll forgive you, but forgetting will be hard.
13. Laughter. Looking back, I thought that this would be the end of me. I haven’t seen anything yet. Here comes a new train of bullshit. And look kids! It’s bigger and better than ever!
Some days you’re in front of the elephant and some days you’re behind it. Hopefully I’ll get closer to the trunk again one of these days.
And now a musical interlude….
Hope each day gets better and better… Happy TT!
A remarkable journey. You’re amazing. Hang in there.
I have no idea what you are going through, but I feel for you. Let it all come around to feed your growth and joy.
On the bright side, it can’t get any worse! Have a great weekend! Let’s both go back to work Monday, take a deep breath and have a better week! I will if you will…..
Yay, you for taking steps to get over it. Whatever “it” is.
Happy 13!
I read some of your recent entries on Plurk. I have faith that you’re going to find another great job and look back on this thinking it was a good “stepping stone” to help you get somewhere more rewarding. I lost my job and just about lost everything I had, but now I’m doing better than ever with a fantastic job and *gasp* it even pays more than the last one (and I never thought I’d get here!) You’ll have a great resume if you list your promotions and employee of the year status, any company would be lucky to have you on their payroll. Hang in there.
Number 13 is the best of all — at least from what I’ve found. THis is a great list… and I’m sending along virtual cocktails to you in its honor.
Thanks everyone for your love and support. I completely agree with Jennifer - there are better things ahead. I survived getting fired (and I still don’t know why) when I was six months pregnant with Boo (a post for another day). If I can get through that, I’ll get through this.
Thanks CitzenJaney: Have a Mo-HEE-Toe for me.
I’ve always been a firm believer that “into this life a little rain must fall.” If we are lucky, there will be a rainbow at the end of that rain.
No, I’m not drunk. I can be philosophical when I need to be.
Did you catch my PMS = Promoting More Smiles yet? It will make the mascara run for sure.
((hug)) If it’s any consolation, my husband and I have been laid off 4 times each. And everyone we know has been as well. This is what I’ve learned about lay offs:
You always find something better.
That’s been true for me and every single person I know. (Everyone my age has been laid off so many times it’s like - great, I get how much money? how much unemployment? super! I’ll take some vacation and get another job.)
The change is awful. I’ve felt like I was thrown onto the road at 60 miles an hour. But the roadrash heals. When you stand up, you start to ask “what do I want?” and low and behold it appears.
I promise you - you and your staff are onto much better things.
Good luck and Happy TT! Feel free to email and I can give you some tips if that’s helpful.
You sound healthier already!
Glad the elephant didn’t stand on you.
Sounds like a terrible position to be in, but you do have the right attitude! Women like us are survivors and you’ll come out ahead eventually!
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