Fear & Parenting in Las Vegas

Search Terms

July 27, 2008 • No Comments

I’m not overly obsessed with my stats. I check them every couple of weeks to see what the peeps are checking into and where my traffic’s coming from. However, thanks to Dave Carroll I’ve been inspired to check my Blog search terms for the last 30 days. They’re ranked in order of number of hits. “Laugh at stuff” took the top honors with 57 hits, but the rest were a pretty even sprinkling. I guess the economy has folks looking for cheap entertainment.

laugh at stuff
rebecca large boobs
sundae
fear and parenting in las vegas
las vegas tummy tuck blog
rnc 2008 protest
las vegas sin city animations
cat paw prints
doing things over the summer
philosophy of it takes a village meaning
greatboob
barbie goes to town
things for doing in summer
“old las vegas postcards”
cloud of impending doom
boobs blogs
tyfani longmeyer
lyrics i need you im sorry so sorry
3 year old humor
fun things to doin the summer
proscrastination
im sorry sorry sorry, don`t worry worry
4 year old humor
induced sleep deprivation
fear and parenting
euphamisims
sheer socks las vegas
“las vegas springs preserve”
shows for 4 year olds las vegas
self induced fear
“makes me hungry”
mighty melons 1
sleep deprivation self-induced
linkin park im sorry…
not going to blogher
13 steps to you relate to someone else
stuff to do on double dates
directions to 13 steps to hell
bathroom funnies
“m and m” suburban
las vegas parenting free subscription
asylum diapers
mommy muffins
las vegas tara pike
reality 4 years old
friday-v
hissyfit
doing things in summer
things to know when you are redoing the
things we need in the summer

There are so many ways to go with this, I don’t know where to start. So, I’ll leave it to you, dear readers to draw your own inferences and share your snarky feedback in the comments. Have at it kids. It’s open mic night.

Don’t PR a PR Person (especially if it’s unethical)

July 25, 2008 • 9 Comments

In case you missed it, I got this in my comments to my last post.

Hey there blogger!

You write all about your family life in Vegas. I’m currently working my summer job with NineBlue.com which is a website that offers family travel guides for over 140 cities around the world.

NineBlue has just finished up a new edition of our popular guide “Las Vegas for Families” and we’d love a review on your blog (or site)–it could mean $200 in your pocket!

At the end of August we’re giving $200 (PayPal or check) to the blog post with the best review of our guide.

So put on your creative hat and write away! Email me back your blog/web post URL and I’ll put you in the running.

…

Best regards,

Ellesse
More about me: http://www.nineblue.com/about-ellesse.aspx

Hmmm. A part of me was hoping this day would come. The trickle of PR people knocking on my door to ask me to review stuff in exchange for free samples. Sure, lots of other mommybloggers do it. Would I?

Hmmm. What’s the harm? I read a few books, try some cereal, let the kids play with a toy or two.

Well, I do have a problem with it. It’s fine if you disclose that you’re getting paid or compensated by the product people for your endorsement, but then, why would you read me? You’re probably reading my blog because you’re intrigued by my snarky, smart-ass wit and pull-no-punches opinions. Would you question my praises if you knew I was laundering my opinions through paypal? You bet your backside you would. I would expect you to. I would demand it from you. You’re smarter than that.

Now, I’m not going to come down too hard on Elisse. After all, if she is a 16-year-old girl that’s trying to make good on a summer job that she claims to be, I’m going to take this as a learning opportunity for her. A “teachable moment” as we say in my business.

So, in case you were wondering, here’s my response.

Dear Ellesse -

Thank you for your comment on my blog and your request that I review it for my readers. I am always happy to look at these sorts of things and give my honest feedback. However, accepting money for a favorable review is unethical by both journalistic and public relations standards.

I am a member of the Public Relations Society of America and subscribe to its code of ethics. The principles of honesty and conflict of interest come into play here. How can I give an honest review if I know that a negative review would take me out of the running for the cash prize? How could my readers trust in my integrity if they knew I would pander to any company that bought my opinion? I’m sorry, but I have worked too hard professionally and personally to develop my reputation as a trusted advisor and generally over-opinionated pain in the neck to squander it.

So, check back in a few days and I’ll post a review. You’ll get my honest opinion. Regardless of the outcome, please keep my name out of the running for your contest.

All the best -
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas.

So Ellesse, here’s rule #1 of public relations: Don’t PR a PR person. Rule #2, don’t ask me to violate my ethics. I wouldn’t do it for $200, I wouldn’t do it for $200,000. I can’t be bought and you shouldn’t be either.

Friday Funnies: Font Wars

July 25, 2008 • 4 Comments

Yes. I am a geek. This is funny to me. I hope you enjoy it.

more about "Friday Funnies: Font Wars", posted with vodpod

13 Lame Reasons Not to Be a Parent in Las Vegas

July 24, 2008 • 7 Comments

Nothing gets my hackles up than hearing people say, “Vegas is fine for us now, but I wouldn’t want to raise kids here.”

After a few deep cleansing breaths, I resist the urge to give them a new orifice and politely ask them what exactly they object to about my fair city. Here are some of the lame excuses that I hear most frequently.

“Oh, there’s too much sex.” (Hmmm, it was fine when you wanted to go clubbing last weekend. How about the time you wanted to get your wife that “special friend”? No one batted an eyelash when you walked in the store. Think you could pull that off in Des Moines? I think not.)
“The education system is terrible.” (So, what are YOU doing to make it better? How did you vote on the last bond issue? Do your kids’ teachers know who you are, or do you wait for them to tell you when there’s a problem?)
“Vegas people are so rude.” (Excuse me, did you really just say that as you threw your cigarette butt out the window while simultaneously ignoring a pedestrian in a crosswalk, cutting off a minivan and giving a schoolbus the finger?)
“Nobody knows their neighbors.” (Uh, did you get off your lazy ass and go introduce yourself? Were you expecting a parade on your move-in day?)
“There’s nothing for kids to do here.” (Okay, that’s just insane. You’ve got sports teams, dance classes, scout troops, music lessons, parks, libraries, art programs, an aquarium, the Las Vegas Springs Preserve, museums…I could go on and on.)
“There’s nothing for grown-ups to do here.” (Are you kidding? You could eat in a different, non-chain restaurant every night for a year and never go to the same place twice. There are movie theaters, the performing arts center, First Fridays, sporting events, roller coasters, and all of that’s off the strip. We have a ton of performers come through all the time, so if you’re looking for David Spade or Dwight Yokam, you’ll get him here.)
“It’s so expensive.” (If you’re coming from Nebraska, yes Vegas will cost you more. If you’re coming from California, we’re still a pretty good deal.)
“Traffic is a nightmare. I don’t want to drive my kids around in that.” (Yes, transportation infrastructure is a challenge in a city that’s had the unrestrained, unplanned growth we’ve experienced. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t get our of your comfort zone and introduce yourself to another parent and make a carpool arrangement. Some of my and Homer’s best childhood friends swam in the carpool.)
“It’s too hot to do anything.” (Yes, it’s hotter than hades here. Sorry, you’ve got me there. But, you do get used to it and you work around it the same way that parents in Michigan work around the snow.)
“It’s a godless city.” (Actually, the statistic that Vegas has more churches per capita is an urban legend, but we still probably beat the country for most houses of worship in strip malls. We have temples, mosques, cathedrals, uber-churches and small faith communities. The benefit of being a 24-hour city is that you can worship what/whoever you want pretty much whenever it strikes your fancy.)
“I can’t deal with the 24-hour culture.” (Trust me, when you run out of diapers or formula at 11 p.m. on a Sunday night, you’re happy as a clam that every grocery store is open. My pediatrician has walk in hours on Saturdays AND Sundays. You don’t realize how much you take it for granted until you move to somewhere else.)
“It’s hard to meet people.” (Okay, here’s a news flash: ninety percent of the people you’ll meet here are from somewhere else. We’re all looking for people that share our interests, values and struggles. Find something you love, get involved with it and you’ll find people you like. Don’t expect to have someone kicking down your door screaming, “Hey! You’re fabulous! I want to know you. You’ve got to kick some doors down yourself. Sorry baby, Vegas isn’t a town for wallflowers.”)
“No one cares.” (Uh wrong. I CARE. If you haven’t picked up on it by now, I’m very passionate about my adopted hometown. I married a native, tried to move away (due to career demands) and was back (unapologetically) two years later. This is MY CITY - lumps, bumps and all.)

So, consider yourself warned. Don’t bitch about my girl unless you’re knee deep in here with me trying to fix it - one stucco-covered cinder block at a time.

Sigh. Okay. I’ll get off my soapbox now, but I reserve the right to jump on it again at will.

Wordless Wednesday: I Guess We Need to Turn Up the AC

July 24, 2008 • 1 Comment

Consumed

July 23, 2008 • 4 Comments

I know it’s ridiculous.

I can’t blame a book for making me a bad mom.

After all, how many books have I read that probably made me a better smarter mom? Probably dozens.

Baby 411…Touchpoints…What to Expect the First Year….Working Mother’s Guide to Life…the list goes on and on.

All of it went out the window when, while shopping for a friend’s birthday gift in a local Borders, wearing a flapper costume no less (that’s a post for another day), I stumbled onto a display for Stephene Myer’s Twilight series.

“Hey,” I said to Homer (in his polyester gangster getup). “They just did a cover story on this in Entertainment Weekly. It looks pretty interesting.”

Intrigued by a vampire storyline written by an LDS SAHM, I was compelled to add the first volume to our pile as we rushed off to the party.

The next day, while recovering from my hangover and a touch of stomach flu (it’s hard to say which was more likely given what I consumed the night before and the two-legged germ factories I live with), I picked up Twilight and read through it over the course of just a few days.

By Saturday morning, I was chomping at the bit to get my hands on book two - New Moon. I left Homer in line at the Apple store to run to Borders. By the time he got to the front of the line for his new toy, I was already more than halfway through the 500+ page tome. I polished it off that night.

The house was a mess. Dinner was thrown together.

Did I give everyone the attention they deserved? Who am I kidding? Heck no.

But…nobody starved. No one died.

I’m now halfway through the third book, Eclipse. I’ll probably finish it tomorrow night.

I’ll probably read all three again before the next one comes out on August 1.

So mark your calendars, ’cause you probably won’t see me doing much writing that day.

You’ll find me locked in my room with my book.

Yep. Not feelin’ guilty.

Homer finally gets a new toy

July 21, 2008 • 10 Comments

I feel bad for Homer.

When I see something that strikes my fancy and I can somehow needle it from the “want” to the “need” category, I usually get it. Scrapbooking supplies (”I’m making a gift for YOUR mom”), a book (”We’re going to [insert destination]. I need something to read in the car while you listen to Security Now.), clothes for the kids (”Do you see Doodle’s toes hanging off the edges of his sandals?”). All of the small ticket adds up. I own up to being behind the ever-tightening downward spiral of inexcusable debt.

I feel bad for Homer.

All of my “little” spending adds up, leaving little room for him to get the things he wants. You see, the things on his wish list are usually $200+. Camera lenses, slide scanners, newfangled weather stations that tell you how much it rained (uh, we live in Vegas - what rain?) while it pours your morning bowl of cheerios. Usually when holidays and birthdays arrive, we’re strapped for cash, so he gets his usual complement of small-ticket items like books and DVDs with a polo shirt or two thrown in for good measure.

His day has come. After a week of sheer hell with the folks at Asshats, Twerps, and Twits, better known as AT&T, he finally got his iPhone.

Despite the headaches of getting the device, he’s a big kid in a candy store.

He even gets excited about the packaging. He usually takes a play-by-play series of pics to capture exactly how cool and elegant Apple is in their product and packaging design. He’s scoured the application store and is especially tickled with stuff like this and this. He is an Apple addict. He would so leave me for Steve Jobs (hell, I’d leave me for Steve Jobs, too).

So, if you know Homer, call his cell. It’ll give him a thrill.

Friday Funnies: Apparently THIS is why I can’t get Homer an iPhone

July 18, 2008 • 3 Comments

Gosh darnit! I knew I should have taken that space-time-continuum class back in college! Ugh!

(Photo courtesy of Mark Frauenfelder)

13 Reasons I’m not going to BlogHer

July 17, 2008 • 12 Comments

The superbowl of MommyBlogging starts tomorrow. Will I be there? Uh, no. Do you care? Probably not. But that’s not going to stop me from giving you 13 reasons why I’m not going. It’s Thursday. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.